Sneezin' On The Doc

In May I was unlucky enough to land a two week stay in the hospital for a nasty sometimes fatal brain infection called 'Bacterial Meningitis'. Most of this experience was very painful and unpleasant, but there are a few humorous things that happened while I was laid up in the hospital.

One of the days the sinus doctor came in to take samples from my sinus's with this flexible thing he had to shove up my nose about 8 inches. I'm laying there already feeling horrible with this thing up my nose and it starts causing me to sneeze repeatedly, and I'm sneezing all over the doctor's face. I'm pretty sure I sneezed about ten times and it was getting all over the doctor and I'm trying to apologize as this is happening. A few days later we get the test results back from the sample and they say they may have found a highly contagious and dangerous bacteria in the sample, my first thought is what's going through the doctor's mind knowing that a few days earlier he was wearing that bacteria as a suit.

I was also on Dilaudid for the pain associated with the bacterial meningitis, and occasionally zofran for the nausea associated with the illness and with the drugs being given. I'm in an isolation room all alone without a working television, laying in silence with a horrible brain infection all drugged up...needless to say I began hallucinating. I heard wild drum solos in my left ear that were not really there, I saw the shape of a magician flash across the room with his hat, and I occasionally would forget to breathe for 20 seconds at a time.

A friend of mine was visiting one day and the nurse came in to ask me the standard questions and as she left my friend says "hey man she's cute" to which I replied "just be glad you're not talking to her about your bowel movements". Oh and how about that call button, sometimes it takes an hour for the nurses to get to you, but I understand they're busy, as long as they're not stargazing in the hallway while I'm half dead in room 419 I can't complain, the doc's and nurses fixed me after all.